From Melbourne to Sydney like Thelma and Louise

Chris didn't want to go a road trip. He said that the two of us trapped in a metal box for over 1000km wouldn't end well. To make his case he cited previous case history of broken London wing mirrors and a minor weeping episode after someone shouted at me. I cited successful recent drives to Leeds and Cornwall. One of which started at 4am.

I won.

At the car hire place the man told Chris the excess on the car was $5,000. Then I couldn't quite work out how to start the car... I'm not saying he spent all of the next 6 days with his head in his hands but he was certainly a bit jumpier than usual.

After a few days in Melbourne where we had winced at the cost of wine, beer and other essentials and taken in the free Ned Kelly lecture at the State Library (it was billed as a half hour chat through the exhibition and turned into a 2 hour eulogy) we packed up and headed out to the open road.

First stop was Foster via Wilson's Promontory. Wilson's Promontory is a wonderful national park. All mountains and forest and beaches. We saw our first kangaroo here. It was dead on the side of the road but it was still a kangaroo (probably, it might have been a wallaby). It was on all levels (apart from the dead marsupial level) incredibly beautiful.

We'd been reading a travelog by the author Howard Jacobson about his trip to Australia over 20 years ago. He had a habit of naming places after friends as he went about. We decided that our friends Slim and Laura would have found much joy at Wilson's Promontory so henceforth let it be known as 'Slim's Protrusion'.

Foster's was a one horse town and the horse was called John. John owned the hostel we stayed in, the neighbouring holiday park and the butchers. He stopped by to say hi. “People get upset if I don't” he said with a deep sigh. It must be stressful being such a man about town.

We flew out of Foster the next morning in the wrong direction and after retracing our steps had to drive slowly behind some a cow wandering happily along the middle of the road.

A few dead kangaroo's, some small lost Irish men, a mad French couple, a possum and a caravan later we arrived in Sydney in unbelievably heavy rain.

We made it to the car rental place safe and sound. I have never seen Chris looking happier than when I handed back the keys.